Huwebes, Abril 15, 2010
SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD.
hahah,doubt anyone reads this so it's a great way to vent my frustration! yipee! which is good, since i want to rant but announcing it via fb or email or whtever means is just a pathetic cry for sympathy and attention; rather than the actual act of realizing the pent up emotions. no offense to those who prefer telling their stories and feelings to the world, and ravel in the attention given - especially if it makes them better. we all have our own distinct, separate, oddly different ways. all i feel like doing is sleeping the day away, waking up to realize this nightmare is just a nightmare that doesnt go beyond the night(day, in this case). but the bitter reality is that it isnt just a nightmare. anw i already am snuggled nicely in bed, trying to do work to conceal and control my feelings - sounds like a description for makeup - conceal flaws, control shine. LOL.
i make it sound like its such an earth shattering and erm devastating post such as receiving news of the demise of a close one, or anything to the effect of the tumbling of one's world. alas, it is merely a small matter. but the disappointment w self and even God - tho i have no right to, is too huge to bear. questions of why find no satisfying answer. seeking solace in the one whom i have always turned to had no comfort, more frustration than anything; disappointment with a tinge of anger, and reflection about the worth of our relationship even. just as well, im merely returning to my initial independence and clamming up of fragility, concealing of true emotions. it has always worked, why should i have given it up? a life of indifference is better than one of vulnerability - possible happiness, but definitely hurt and disappointment.
i am discovering the peace and clarity that comes with blogging, and shall return to doing so. especially since it truly is a diary for me - private, undisturbed, truthful, renewing and cleansing.
struggling; but failing. and, its gone.
6:33 PM
Sabado, Mayo 30, 2009
HELLO!
i decided to blog cos my blog is so dead and i am kinda bored.
so anw, i have several things to talk about!
1. i bought a dress online and i think it got lost in the mail ): so now i wasted money and i have nth to wear for social night! ):
2. "I'm your boss" is ultra duper whooper fun!
3. Japanese food court at POMO is nice and cheap!
4. i am very full from eating a buffet at river view hotel. i spammed the kueh pie tee cos i <3 it, and its rare to find it outside!
5. holidays are here! but i need to return to work on somedays, which is good! so i can earn $$$!
6. i want to buy a camera..
sooooo preety. sony DSC-T90. but it's like 500 over bucks. so im finding a cheaper one? or maybe i will just buy it! (:
7. im attending GDOP tmr. yay. i need a revival...
struggling; but failing. and, its gone.
11:58 PM
